Where has the time gone? My husband's birthday came and went. Thanksgiving came and went. Christmas skidded through and then came the New Year. I ended up covering the Utah Legislature and gave thanks for my regular beat, cops and courts. And here it is April. Almost the end of April and it's still lousy weather. I know only Heavenly Father is in charges of the weather, but I sure wish He'd decide to let it get a tad warmer and drier. I really want to put away my winter clothes. Besides when I'm feeling down and out, I tend to spend more than I should.
Speaking of spending, I love spending money on my grandkids. Saturday I hosted a wedding shower for a young woman who grew up in my area. I showed our guests this cool book I bought at the Capitol's gift shop during the Legislature. It is a dinosaur pop up book. Turns out, I'm behind the times. The author of the book is very well-known and has created many pop up books, including a Star Wars, Harry Potter, Magical Creatures and Super Heroes, that are way too cool and Amazon sells them. Trust me. They're cool. Grandkids love them.
I love my job also, most days. I love writing about people and the choices they make. I love writing about events. I love tryng to find out stuff also. I do hate what people do though, like hurt each other and small children.
I love my children and their spouses. Easter was fun this past weekend. I had all the families make a salad and share it on Easter Sunday with the turkey I cooked. I'm amazed at how much easier the kitchen was to clean when they shared, instead of me using every pan I own to cook an entire meal for everyone. I don't mind though. I love to cook and bake. Sometimes though I do get stressed and just want to cry.
Crying.....I figure I will always cry. I don't need a reason. I just cry. I don't always feel like I'm measuring up to a mark that society/people/or I have set. I am disappointed in myself a lot lately.
I just want it to get warmer so I can go get a fancy pedicure, go ride my bike and prune the roses. Maybe even take a nap in my hammock.
I've been perpetually disappointed with myself my entire life. I'm finally learning that it's part of God's plan. My inevitable failure (over and over) is supposed to remind me how badly I need the atonement and help me turn to Christ (over and over). It's hard for me, because on some level I always believe I'm supposed to be able to do everything right.
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