The Grandma Adventure

I had a grandma adventure this past week and I want to share it.
First I'm 51 so I'm old enough to know better, but still young enough to do it. Trite but true.
I agreed to have a major sleepover. First though, I invited Katie and Ellie to spend the night Friday. Ellie ended up going with Rod, grandpa, to Boondocks with Terra, Josh and othes. She had a blast.
Katie played with Caleb and I played with Corbin. Saturday I took Ellie and Katie to Clearfield Aquatic Center. I am self-conscious about my body especially in a swimsuit because there is flabby areas. Of course, I realized about 15 minutes at the pool, I'm not that bad. It could be worse.
Saturday night Corbin, Caleb and Ben came to spend a few days. Actually Ben spent a few days, the other two spent the week. Rod is home now taking care of Corbin and Caleb while I work. I remember one night I was so tired I couldn't even undress myself. I just sat in the recliner. Of course that was the night Corbin woke up with a temperature. Don't know why, but he did. I was up half the night rocking him to sleep.
Friday I absolutely insisted I simply had to shower and put make up on. I did not know there were dinosaur shows on Channel 7. I have not watched PBS in the morning in years. The show lasted long enough for me to get a shower and make up on.
But back to the Grandma adventure.
Sunday was church. The three tykes wanted to sit as close to the front of the chapel as possible because Rod, alias Papa, is the bishop of our congregation or in LDS terms, the ward. He sits on the stand behind the pulpit to keep an eye on the masses. The boys did well going to class for a moment. Actually Caleb was fine. Corbin and Ben insisted on hanging out with Papa.
Home for a nap. Then Ben was off to a birthday party at his Grandma Kathy's house. Caleb and Corbin played with the toys for awhile after dinner.
Then bedtime. It took a while for the munchkins to not play and go to sleep, but they did.
Monday was the day sat aside to go to the Aquarium in Salt Lake City, but first I had to return some stuff from Jen's wedding. We got lost due to construction. We finally found the spot. Then I went to the mall to return some shoes and realized I did not have the receipts. So we tried to find a McDonald's. Not in Sandy, Utah. There is no McD's close to the mall, but we found one five miles away. Had lunch and then to the aquarium. I could have spent all day watching the penquins. The boys loved the very large fish.
Home again we ran because Caleb had a T-ball game scheduled, but it was canceled due to the weather. The weather this week canceled a lot of stuff. I did not take the boys swimming because I was too cold. It rained, snowed, hailed or blew like crazy.
Tuesday I took the boys and my dog, Jade, for a walk. How does one do that on 2000 West? Well, you put Corbin in a stroller. Then attach the boys to backpacks that come with "tails" aka, leashes. You hold the leashes and very carefully cross the street, heading to the neighborhood with no cars so they can explore the great outdoors. Normally it takes me 10 minutes to walk around the U, but with the three it takes about 30 minutes as we stop and examine every bug, rock, pine cone and stick along the way. I hope their moms cherish their boys' treasures. We put them in boxes when we got home.
Then after lunch we went to Dinosaur Park. The biggest mistake I made was going to the second floor where the robot dinosaurs are. Corbin lost it. It took an hour of walking around the park for him to realize the dinosaurs were not real. We then went to my niece's graduation barbeque. At home I fed the boys a treat of applesauce and graham crackers and then we played before bath time and bed.
Wednesday we got up and went for a walk again. And then played in the backyard and had a picnic. The weather was crappy. Nap time came, but no storm, so Caleb had a T-ball game. His shirt goes to his ankles. Rod and Ben tried to show Caleb what he needed to do at the game. Rod is spending this Saturday playing ball with Caleb in the backyard. Ben tumbled at the park and cut his lip. We had steak, which looked big when I got it out of the freezer but wasn't. Along with baked potatoes, salad and fruit.
Caleb loves fruit. Chad and Megan joined us and Ben went home. I was sad. Ben makes me laugh a lot.
Thursday we went grocery shopping after we went to the library for reading time. Caleb loves fruit and vegetables. I spent close to $80 on produce. He loves cabbage sliced with raisin. He loves melons, all kinds. And let's talk berries.
We made bread that night to go with the taco soup Megan made us earlier in the week.
Corbin loves rolls with strawberry cream cheese. He also loves chicken noodle soup. I remember when Caleb was a picky eater. Now he eats really well.
Thursday night Caleb woke up in the middle of the night because he had a bad dream and came into my room. I forgot how little ones like to sleep horizontal in a big bed.
Friday morning I heard him tell his stuffed doll Bo, "Don't worry, we won't be stuck with grandma forever. Mommy and Daddy come home tomorrow."
I didn't know if I should smile because he misses his mom and dad or cry because he was tired of grandma. I knelt down, gave him a hug and told him we would get everything ready for him to take home.
Friday I did the boys' wash. I washed their clothes, stuffed animals, pillow (Caleb must have had a nose bleed during the night. He said he didn't.), towels (Corbin packs hand towels around for security) and blankets. We went for a walk. And we played. We even watched Cars. It was the first movie we watched all week. I tried really hard not to turn the TV on or allow the computer to be used a babysitter. I wanted to spend time with the boys because I know every minute counts.
I guess that is where 51, old enough to know, comes in.
We went to Katie and Julie birthday party, two of my sweet granddaughters. Katie is 6 now and Julie is 1. Caleb picked out Snow White dolls for both of htem.
Corbin was ready to go to sleep when we got in the car at 8:30 p.m. I tried to keep the boys on a schedule of sorts all week because I know it makes it easier when they are not with their parents. So we sang songs on the way home. Caleb and Corbin love "Going on a Bear Hunt."
Then we bathed them, tucked them in bed and gave them kisses. Both woke up before I left for work. I really, really miss them.
Sometime today their parents will be home and I hope they know what treasures they have. I hope when they get impatient with Caleb's questions and Corbin's picky eating moments they take a minute, take a deep breath, kneel down, look into those little guys' eyes and hug them. They do grow up and move out.

The tarp and the lights

Jen and Tyler were married Tuesday and a rain storm came during the reception. As I dashed around handing out umbrellas, I noticed the large portrait photos in the very expensive frames were in danger of being drenched. So I did what I could to protect them, as others grabbed presents and hustled them to my husband's truck to protect them from a good soaking.
Then there was my Uncle Clinton and Aunt Mary handing me a very large tarp to protect the very large portraits of Jen and Ty.
After the reception we cleaned everything up and the tarp disappeared. I went back to the nursery on Wednesday to find the tarp so I could take it in the next week or two to Idaho to my uncle.
Turned it it's not his. He told me a young gentleman with red hair handed it to him.
So I thought it was Gabe Tams. Gabe is dating Carlie, Jen's friend. He is also Brandon and Nicole's cousin.
So I let Carlie know I had Gabe's tarp.
She told me nope, not Gabe's. Gabe got it out of the red truck where the presents were.
Ummmm.
Rod, my sweet husband, are you missing a tarp?
Yeah. I think so. I remember having one in my truck.
So it turns out the tarp was my husband's. But the many hands that helped protect guests, presents and decorations were angels. Gabe being one of them.
Now for the lights.
My oldest is 36 years old. Since he was 14 years old we've left the outdoor lights on until everyone is in the house. So for the past 22 years the outside lights have been on almost every single night until after 10 p.m.
Since Jen got married Tuesday, no outside lights are on waiting for a child to come home to switch them off.
The house is so quiet it breaks my heart.
Tonight there will be laughter, noise and fun, as my family comes over. But it is not the same.
No hugs from children at 11 p.m., midnight or in the wee hours. No voices waking me up to say "I'm home."
I wish I could get over feeling like this. Like I'm no longer wanted, needed or useful.

The week

This past week started on May 11 with the murder of Ethan Stacy, 4, of Layton. My heart breaks every time I see his photo because he looks so much like my grandson, Caleb, who is 5.
Yesterday, May 18 my daughter, Jen, married Ty, in the Salt Lake Temple. It was a rainy day, but a perfect day.
There is so much I want to write, but my head hurts from everything and I'm very tired. I want to write about the happy moments on Tuesday and the saddness I felt last week.
And today, May 19, is my daughter Terra's 30th birthday and my son Chad's 28th birthday.
How did I happen to have two children on the same day you ask?
Well, my birthday is Sept. 20, so it take no genius to figure out Rod gave me a "birthday" present twice. :)

Childhood

Yesterday I almost fell apart when a coworker noticed I was using a purple pen with purple ink to write some notes in my day minder.

He said, "You must of been one of those girls who had lots of Barbies."
I never owned a Barbie. I always wanted a Barbie.
Why?
Because my mom said I was too old for a Barbie. My younger sisters had Barbies, complete with outfits.
I made sure my daughters had Barbies with lots of clothes and accessories. Jennica loved the littel Kimberly dolls with all the accessories.
Anyway, quite suddenly my eyes filled with tears as I said, "I never owned a Barbie. My mother wouldn't let me have one."
Yesterday was also my youngest sister's birthday. She is 47. I am 51.
As a child, from second grade on, I was the one who got up at 5 a.m. with my mom, made her breakfast and lunch so she could go to work. I then got my three younger sisters up and got their breakfasts, packed lunches and helped them with their hair and find their clothes. Sometimes I went to school with a red sock on one foot and a blue sock on another foot so my sisters could wear matching socks. Sometimes my socks had holes in them so my sisters wouldn't have to wear socks with holes. But sometimes we all had to wear socks with holes.
I love buying socks. To me, a drawer full of socks means I will never have cold feet.
I love riding bicycles mostly because my mom's husband took my bicycle away after he married my mom and wouldn't let me have one because I "could get hurt," when really it meant I could go places without him knowing where.
My mom is trying to fix the wrongs of the past, but the past still hurts.
I am more emotional this week than I have been in a long time. I know part of it is because of the wedding coming up and trying to get everything done. There isn't really a lot to do. Maybe I'm just worrying about the things my daughter needs to do and hoping for the best for her and Tyler.
It's the little things, like Barbie dolls and socks, that get to us I think. The little things that makes us stop and remember.
Do I want a Barbie now?
No.
But I love pens with lots of different color inks. I love socks and soft T-shirts. I love sitting outside under my Aunt Eliza tree and watching the day slip by.

Two more weeks

Two more weeks. Lately I've been counting down. I'm trying so hard to keep on top of stuff, but stuff keeps popping up.
Two more weeks. My youngest daughter will marry a young man she has known for a long time. I really, really like him. I think of him as part of the family.
Two more weeks. I will have to learn to let go. I can feel my daughter cutting, no hacking away at the apron strings. She doesn't want my help, really. I understand that and I don't. I just want to help, but it's not wanted. So what do I do?
Two more weeks. I wish I had a friend close by who could just help me through this. My friends I'm close to live so far away or are busy with their own emptying of the nest.
Two more weeks. My middle daughter turns 30 in two weeks. My youngest son turns 28. It seems like only yesterday I gave birth to the.
It seems like only yesterday I gave birth to my youngest daughter.
Now they are grown and busy with their own lives. And that is how it should be.
I'm glad I raised them to be independent.
But in two more weeks will anyone want me to be mom?