The tarp and the lights

Jen and Tyler were married Tuesday and a rain storm came during the reception. As I dashed around handing out umbrellas, I noticed the large portrait photos in the very expensive frames were in danger of being drenched. So I did what I could to protect them, as others grabbed presents and hustled them to my husband's truck to protect them from a good soaking.
Then there was my Uncle Clinton and Aunt Mary handing me a very large tarp to protect the very large portraits of Jen and Ty.
After the reception we cleaned everything up and the tarp disappeared. I went back to the nursery on Wednesday to find the tarp so I could take it in the next week or two to Idaho to my uncle.
Turned it it's not his. He told me a young gentleman with red hair handed it to him.
So I thought it was Gabe Tams. Gabe is dating Carlie, Jen's friend. He is also Brandon and Nicole's cousin.
So I let Carlie know I had Gabe's tarp.
She told me nope, not Gabe's. Gabe got it out of the red truck where the presents were.
Ummmm.
Rod, my sweet husband, are you missing a tarp?
Yeah. I think so. I remember having one in my truck.
So it turns out the tarp was my husband's. But the many hands that helped protect guests, presents and decorations were angels. Gabe being one of them.
Now for the lights.
My oldest is 36 years old. Since he was 14 years old we've left the outdoor lights on until everyone is in the house. So for the past 22 years the outside lights have been on almost every single night until after 10 p.m.
Since Jen got married Tuesday, no outside lights are on waiting for a child to come home to switch them off.
The house is so quiet it breaks my heart.
Tonight there will be laughter, noise and fun, as my family comes over. But it is not the same.
No hugs from children at 11 p.m., midnight or in the wee hours. No voices waking me up to say "I'm home."
I wish I could get over feeling like this. Like I'm no longer wanted, needed or useful.